I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
