So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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