I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
