Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize