hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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