ADVERTISEMENT

• (559): View more from California

  I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great

  Fav 5 3089 740

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.

  Fav 62 1384 3314

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.

  Fav 18 782 4670

  share tweet
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

  Fav 28 3590 6844

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

  Fav 131 6576 7789

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

  Fav 14 1167 3958

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

  Fav 13 4562 1344

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

  Fav 11 825 2622

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.

  Fav 6 1393 766

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

  Fav 1 907 538

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag

  Fav 2 741 535

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.

  Fav 4 761 454

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'

  Fav 1 17 38

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real

  Fav 1 72 21

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.

  Fav 0 48 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize