you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
