Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
