I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
