this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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