of course. lets lasso hookers.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And then he peed in my hair
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
