there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
