As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
meet me or not, i'm out of control
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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