I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
