K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Randomize
