take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she smelled like a LAN party
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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