Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize