dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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