Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
