Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize