i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
