walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
