Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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