Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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