last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
