Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
