I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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