Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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