I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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