take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
