Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
