also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
