you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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