He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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