I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
