dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how does that bad decision feel?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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