a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize