i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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