Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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