I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize