I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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