singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
