Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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