We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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