i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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