Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
