If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
