I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
