she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Someone signed my nipple.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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