Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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