You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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