there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
