I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
