i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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