is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
