u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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