i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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