Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
