the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
