capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
