so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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